Take 2 - Second Chemo Cycle

Dear Non-Toxic (but freezing) Noggins,

I would just like to throw it out there into the universe that I am a tad pissed off people!

It seems to me to be extremely unfair or unreasonable that not only does one have to lose their hair completely, but one has to do so at the beginning of the coldest week EVER in Melbourne in years!!!!!!!

You will have to trust me on this one folks, but I can honestly say that sans hair I believe you are about 5 degrees colder than someone blessed with their natural hirsuteness.

Last week I attended my second chemo on the Thursday and it went well. Siobhan had shaved off the prickles left from my hair clippering and I was all bald and shiny headed.

I had attended the Medical Oncologist's the day before, and all was well with the progress. The chemo was over and done in a few hours and I headed home to a reasonably comfortable night. By Sunday however, the treatment had taken hold. Sunday was a long long day of intermittent sleep rudely interrupted with violent chills running through my body followed by soaring temperatures and hot sweats. It was incredibly exhausting.

It is very difficult to describe how awful it is. And in the comfort of post treatment hind sight you look back at your own inability to not push through and you think to yourself , "geez, get a grip", But as someone who is pretty tough, the one thing I can say I have learnt from having chemo is, that I will be far more empathetic to other people's experiences than I have ever been before.  The loss of your own well being for a known and prescribed period of time, where you just have to ride it out, is simply awful. The nights, I found, are the worst.  Everyone is different and apparently experiences different symptoms, duration and severity so one can't generalise, but now with my second treatment, having had the same regime as the first time, my medical oncologist indicated that I can expect the same thing for the three cycles. The second lot of three chemo cycles using a different regime, due the treatment after next, may pose a new set of impacts.  

For the first day or two nothing untoward takes effect. However after that, the two days following, the lethargy and fatigue is almost overwhelming. Lifting your arm to hold a cup of tea (that someone else  has kindly made for you) takes incredible strength to even get around the idea that you have a cup of tea that ideally you should drink!! You stare at a book or at the television hoping for some pleasant distraction but it hazes in front of you. To hold concentration requires an effort that you are simply incapable  of making. You are just inside your own head the entire time with random thoughts murking through your brain. If you are lucky, you will fall into a sleep  - which hopefully kills a few more hours towards that time when you will be feeling better. Often though the dreams are unsettling and bizarre in content and meaning and a cause for some anxiety. As the chemo works its magic, your symptoms take centre stage on the third and fourth days.

Throughout the day and every hour or half hour throughout the night, your body is trembling with chills and you feel just so wretched. If you are asleep, your soaring temperature awakes you with the last vestiges of cold shudders running through your body before the heat gets turned up to high. Despite your age, despite your circumstances, you revert to that little child inside and you simply want your Mum so she can make it all better. Suddenly, your body stops trembling and your body temperature soars.

You are burning up and your clothes stick to your body. You claw at the previously soft and toasty warm hand knitted beanie that so recently cocooned your bald head. Now it feels harsh and scratchy on your sensitive pasty skull. You rip it off your head to get relief. You throw the blankets and the jumpers off. You are sweating like a pig. You stink !! The chemicals oozing from your pores make you smell manky and horrid. Like some industrial spill, the odour is both toxic and 'commercial' - not human at all. You are damp and clammy in every body crease. And you just want to make it stop. And then the exhaustion sets in. Without leaving the prostrate lying position, you have run the equivalent of a half marathon and if you are lucky, you will sleep.

This pattern repeats for a few days and at night it is more frequent. In the stillness of night with no distractions, the impact seems so much more violent and so much more traumatic. The morning dawns and you are exhausted and spent. But at least you are one day (and night ) closer to the end. This week has been tough.

Just when you think you can't bare it any more, the symptoms shift and life becomes a little easier. The trembling and temperature swings cease and a constant low level nausea has now set in. But never fear queasy readers, I have two nauseau reducing strategies up my sleeve to combat the worst. Firstly, at my disposal is the miracle strength capabilities (in my mind, at least) of these amazing Ginger tea bags provided by the lovely Ron. Ron, Siobhan, I and our dodgy plumbing ........salute you!!! Second, is my anti-nausea kit provided by the ever thoughful Michelle, whose essential supplies of fruit tingles, peppermint lip balm and a totally herbal, nausea-preventing wrist band  leaves me strong and superwoman like in the face of cryptonite strength nausea.

So with some nauseau and the ongoing feeling that my gums have been scoured with a Brillo pad, I march onwards and hopefully upwards. My gums have become all soft and gooey and cannot abide salty or any tough food that needs some mastication. But compared to yesterday and the days before peoples, life is better...........so much better.

So all things being equal, I will now be on the improve and can start getting out and about. I can now start to enjoy the hair and hat options that I have before me and  give the neighbourhood (and blog readers) a very good laugh.


Take it easy and keep your hair about you!!!

Kelly xxxx

1. 
   

A Close Shave..........Hair 'Razing' Indeed !!!!!!

Good Day Hair Style Fashionistas,

Early week getting thinner at temples 

and around hairline
 but sufficient for quick trips in public.

After the unexpected and shocking commencement of my loss of hair last Thursday (13th June), I carefully nursed the precious strands through the weekend and into the early days of the following week.  On the Monday and Tuesday I could still get around town with a head of hair that, whilst it looked thin, lifeless and dull (and a stiff Melbourne wind could have whizzed it away in seconds) it still wasn't publicly shocking - unless you are a hypercritical Virgo, such as myself and to mine it looked like a travesty of a 'do' and the hair police would be on reasonable grounds to sentence me to house arrest for 12 months until it improved.

Thinning at the crown like Prince Charles!!! Pun intended!

But by Wednesday morning of this week, (19th June) it was just plain sad. 

I cannot express how utterly depressing it was to look at it in the mirror and to have to continously be picking it up from the floor, from my collar where it would fall and gather like some hairy and tickly scarf. I would also have to pick it out from down my back where lots would have fallen down and inside my shirt. It would hang mid suspended from the remaining in tact hair J&Just waiting to drop, or fall across and stick to my face. My scalp was terribly tender as my once lovely shiny hair just gave up the ghost.  I couldnt even try on the wigs to show Siobhan over previous nights for fear of most of coming out before some appointments and the big shave off.

I had to also head out that afternoon firstly to the Peter Mac Familial Genetic Cancer Centre and then to the Medical Oncologist. The genetic Counsellor took me through the possiblilities of me having the BRCA 1 or BRCA 2 mutation but I have only a very low percentage of that, so thats very good news. It has to be more than 10% probability risk  to get a government paid test at $3000 - $4000 and I am below that so am happy with those odds.

My family history suggests I have some genetic drivers for a higher than usual risk of breast cancer but work, whilst currently underway, has yet to identify what those drivers are to what the genes are. It is apparent given the number of breast cancers in my mother's family that we all probably share some common drivers in some genes but that my mum and I had more of those 'drivers' than the other female members who have had cancer or DCIS (ductal carcinoma in situ). As the only direct line mother to daughter, as opposed to other cousins who have a grandmother to grand-daughter line, I am a slightly higher risk. A very interesting field though, I would have to say.

Then I had to head to see the rogueish Irishman that is my medical oncologist. I showed him my "medical blog" called "Toxic Tome of a Sick Chick" which details what he requires in terms of actual descriptive side effects of the treatment and I have opted for this rather than hand write a daily journal. For any of you who has ever had to decipher my handwritten notes, instructions, postcards, letters or white board words of wisdom,  you will fully appreciate this thoughtful gesture on my part. Anyway, he can log in and check my progress as I go rather than wait for my scheduled appointment. I think I saw I wry smile on his face at either my efficiency or my pretencious blog titles!!! Lisa, my delightlyfully helpful Breast Nurse was her reassuring self and heads to Ireland in a few weeks, the lucky thing !!! I am most jealous as that is a destination Siobhan and I are planning for in our next holiday - a touring holiday of the UK. All good with that appoitment as well and I had doned a cap as I still has hair jutting out the sides and back so it looked passable. But by evening when the cap came off - I had very noticable bald spots.

By Wednesday evening I was soooo ready to have the whole lot shaved off. 

Not a pretty sight at all

I had originally intended for Siobhan and I to host a weekend afternoon get together for all the wonderful supportive friends who were available to have a bevie and a nibble as we shaved off my hair. For no other reason than to have a laugh and anyone who wanted to try their hand at clippering under the surpervision of Pauline (I am not entirely stupid peoples!!) could do so. I didnt want the loss of my hair to be a sad little affair with just Siobhan and I in the bathroom clippering and crying over spilt hair!!! But the toxic capabilities of FEC outsmarted me, before the idea could become a reality. 

Getting ready to start at the back

So we asked my two oldest friends Pauline and Tony to clipper and take pics and then have a lovely dinner and some nice wine.We also tried to film it on video but we got the whole record v pause indicators confused so we have only a start and finish for your entertainment!! I met Tony and Pauline back when I was 18 years old and we have remained friends all this time, something I am so privileged to still have. Together with my lovely supportive Siobhan and Pauline's husband Rob, and Baldie at the end of the table, a lovely happy night was had. I hate to sound all therapy and journal-like here peoples, but my acceptance and comfort with this new look was so based upon it beginning with a positive rather than negative or sad process. I highly recommend it as a coping strategy.

So Pauline began the clipping  process with Siobhan on camera, Tony taking pics and Rob throwing in smart arse comments from the side line. Clearly that man has learnt nothing from being a regular golfing gallery member!!!!!!

It is a weird sensation indeed

With the back completed Pauline moved to the sides and the front and decided to revisit her creative side with her idea of transtional styles before heading for the Sinead O'Connor look!!!

A formal 'Up Do' of the Comb Over

The Kevin Bartlett Comb Over !!

Finally my personal transition fave.......a style popular with the Third Reich!!!!

Hitlers moustache has made its way onto my noggin!!

So having had her fun, she commenced taking the last remants off with the clippers.

No turning back now

Side profile

Bald as the proverbial........

We left the process there and didnt shave the stubble off, as dinner was nearly ready. Siobhan offered to do that after Chemo on the Thursday but it may wait until the weekend. We have a short video of live action but I will post that a bit later.

And finally good friends, the blessed advantage of make-up, good lighting and a blurry photo. In my mind's eye, if I can believe I look like this when not wearing a wig, then I will be ok........

Second chemo cycle is next so stay tuned ...

 Keep your heads warm .......Kelly xxxxx

Moulting Minogue...Losing my Hair yeah yeah......

Hello Hirsute Humans,

As you know, everything has been tripping along swimmingly in the last two weeks after my first week of chemo, which was a bit of a struggle. Since that time I have enjoyed visits from lovely friends and wonderful cousins, I went to the legendary H's birthday party, a preliminary house warming for the Taj Mahal of Ascot Vale, played "ladies-who-lunch" with Pauline,  and again with Viv, was cooked an exquisite signatory dish of roast beef and Yorkshire pud by a closet culinary culprit who moonlights as an Executive Director of Nursing over in the western suburbs, and have had some wonderful foodstuffs cooked and so kindly provided to us. (Sally, Rosa, Andy & Rebecca). In short, its been good. (notwithstanding Carlton's last two outings......got in before all you filthy pies, dons, hawks etc)

But clearly the number 13 is not my lucky number. Here in 2013, I get diagnosed with this and then on Thursday 13th June having my daily shower and as I am enjoying the feel of warm water cascading over me, no longer sore or limited in movement due to surgery or healing wounds, I look down and watch in horror as strands and strands of my hair are carried towards the murky depths of the shower drain.

At least two weeks earlier than I expected this to happen, the actual reality is so much more confronting than the concept or the idea of  losing one's hair. I have known this would happen and prepared for it accordingly, as readers will know from earlier posts. I am wig ready.  In true rational, logical and methodical Minogue style, I knew I needed the wig (s), I also needed warm, soft and non-itchy beanies that don't make me look like a "carnie",  and I needed a good eyebrow pencil and appropriate make-up to ensure that I dont look like a walking flesh coloured bowling ball with squinty little eyes!!

With all this theoretically at the ready, I was surprised to find myself in a flood of tears, which in hindsight was the last thing I needed,  as it only helped my floating hair strands disappear post haste down the bloody drain buoyed by the additional water supply emminating from yours truly. I jumped out of the shower and with painstaking patience gently combed my hair and this was the result

This was just from the comb - I rescued double this from the drain as a plumbers' bill is the last thing we need right now

I can only put it down this unexpected reaction to one thing. As a former hairdresser, I have never been that fussed about my hair. You cut it, you colour it, you change it - it grows and it grows back. My days of being overtly interested in its capability to frame my face, update my look etc are long gone. Its hair. But this loss, albeit as people keep saying, a temporary loss, is so public. The hair loss is something you will be able to see. He will be able to see. She will be able to see. My little trial of dealing with this is now no longer something I share just with those close to me. I have lost control of who knows,  and control is an element I love at the best of times, let alone the worst of times.  So it knocked me and now four days later (Monday) I am preparing myself to get the lot taken off, having sensibly gotten a transition haircut only last week!!!

Last week, Siobhan and I went to the talented  Courtney for haircuts. Courtney did her usual brilliant job with Siobhan's hair and when it was my turn, I asked her to take it shorter because of all this pallaver which would make it easier when the hair loss happened - in the coming weeks - or so I thought. Courtney worked her magic and I was really happy with how it looked.

So with my new "coiff" I was prepared to enjoy a healthy and happy week before my next blast of chemo. I headed for a massage last Friday. Total bliss. But I forgot to tell Joel, the masseuse, about the hair. So when he had nearly finished the most sublime massage EVER!! - he moved to my head and began massaging my scalp. I was floating, and my brain and consciousness only returned to my body when the poor bloke, having finished a beautiful scalp massage, ran his rigid fingers from my scalp through the strands of my hair, which normally, for those who often have massages, will recall the wonderful sensation of your hair pulling against your scalp in a gentle form of stimulation..........

that is, of course, unless you have toxic crap in your system which has separated the hair strand from its anchor in the hair follicle.........

Poor Joel was immobilised with fear as his hands were full of long dark strands..... he started patting my head furiously in some vain attenpted to put it back in/on my scalp.......I nearly wet myself laughing. The poor bugger. 

After that I headed back to the wig shop to decide on a wig so I was ready when my hair became to thin to perservere. I have decided on two but you will have to wait til my next installment to see them!! The suspense is killing you I know!! Just dont laugh in front of me otherwise it wont be the suspense killing you....that will be me. 

Saturday and Sunday resulted in more hair loss and the stuff is just everywhere, on my pillow, the head rest of the couch, everywhere. I am shedding more than the four westies combined. Siobhan and I headed for Daylesford on Sunday. We have decided that if I am well the weekend before each of my chemo treatments we will head to a regional counrty town for a lunch as a little reward for marking another treatment off the list. 

Yesterday was Daylesford. It was a beautiful brisk winter's day with glorious sunshine. We headed first to their bot gardens where Alla Wolf-Tasker has the Wombat Hill Cafe for a light morning tea. 

Siobhan, doing a Gen Y and 'posing' for the camera outside of the Wombat Hill Cafe!!

Then with the four westies on lead avec their tres chic winter coats on, we browsed the main drag (the dogs were a draw card for every child and dog lover in the place - they hated the attention.....not) and purchased a tasteful (if there is such a thing) beanie for moi. - a combination of al Paca, wool and Possum. Very soft, very warm - and before anyone gets bent out of shape. The possum is an introduced species in New Zealand, hence it is regarded as vermin there and not protected like it is here as a native animal. So I have a NZ Possum Hat to wear. ( call me Danielle Boone)

We headed to Darmaggi in Hepburn for lunch and cannot recommend it highly enough if you find yourself in the area. Magnifico!! Heading home, we stopped at Passing Clouds for some of their vey noice Chardonnay to add to the collection. It needs a year or so - so rest assured none for me!! 

I ask that you indulge me here good people for a few entirely gratutitous shots of "aw shucks" moments of the dogs at the winery.......

And finally, a close up......although my hair is falling out all over, my temples and now extended hairline at the forehead is showing up first. Pauline has kindly agreed to come over and shave the lot off  on Wednesday night before the vacuum cleaner has a coronary trying to keep the place tidy......stay tuned next time for live camera action ...........

Stay Warm Possums !!!!!!!

Kelly xxx

She's Baaaa-ack!! Nine days after treatment & feelin' good.

Hello Healthy Humans,

I feel wonderful.

The last few days I have been feeling so close to my old self that I am jumping for joy (internally of course - dont want to be considered a total berk! ) Not to get all preachy, but this state of well being is now such a precious commodity to me that as I lose it and regain and lose it and (hopefully) regain it over it the coming months, I dont think I will ever take it for granted again.  When I am lucky enough to have it returned to me on a temporary long term basis after all this cancer stuff is over, then I will cherish its presence in a manner I never have before.

Following the first two days of mild inconvenience, the next five days were seriously tough going. But by days 7 & 8,  I started to improve and by day 9 (Friday just gone, I was as good as gold, top of the tree, fighting fit and whatever other positive health cliche you can think of.

I cannot tell you how happy this has made me. Well actually I can. In fact I am. Its in the blog so it must be true!

I expect that this sense of well being will continue until my next treatment, which is June 20th. Although I have had a few new symptoms reveal themselves over the past few days, none singularly or collectively have had sufficient impact to lay me low.

It is oft said that the body is an amazing thing and indeed from my perspective, I can only concur. Within the context of the effects of chemo, I have found it incredible that the body seems to order and queue the symptons so that they impact over a series of days rather than concurrently. Presumably if the symptoms were to take hold or impact all at the same time, you probably would want to top yourself. It is as if this thinking machine knows and understands what the body can tolerate at any given time and enables that threshold to be met but not exceeded.

My brain seems to be acting like this gate keeper  to my body, allowing only certain symptoms through a certain gate at a particular time into the play ground of cells, bloodstream and organs to run amock for a specified period of time. To have their fun and create their chaos, then be rounded up and told to leave the playground because it's other symptoms turn to play.

So the nauseauous and fatigue urchins came to play first,  followed by the temperature surges and chills chill'un. The came the diaorrhea devils, and the mouth ulcers brats, all the while I had the bad taste & cottom mouth kids hang around for the duration. Some of the other minors have included low level head and neck pressure, where my hairline meets my neck, and even some greater than usual vagueness. Though some would say this is a 'normal state' for me.

But all things considered people, it has been a lot easier than I expected.

What I dont know is how much worse it gets as the stuff impacts over time on your system. Is there an accumulative effect of its respective power, in either the strength or the duration of the symptoms? Will I continue to have so few bad days ? Will I continue to enjoy so many good days? Apparently we won't know until we know. Each medical, nursing and clinical person that Siobhan and I meet, reinforce the notion that each patient responds so uniquely, that generalisations about effects should be avoided.

As you would all know, as a person certainly not given to mass generalisations (such as all Collingwood supporters are yobs, or  all Essendon football department staff are cheats !),  I will wait and see what the next cycle brings.

In the meantime people, join me.

Look closely at all that you have.......

.........life is good.


Lotsa

Kelly x

Chemo Warfare - Day 6

Hello Chemically Free Humans,

Just a short rant today as I am at Day 6 of the first cycle of chemo and cant seem to muster enough energy to do more than some light housework chores and then crash on the couch (again.......) The first few days were or marginal consequence and negligible discomfort but over the last two days, the symptons combined with an infection have taken their toll.

At chemo last Thursday I intended to have a doctor look at my left breast (the one from which the lump was removed) which was swollen and hard but in all the processes that were going on, both myself and the nursing team forgot to call a doctor. Hence by Sunday it was still bad. My night sleep was punctuated by soaring temperature surges followed by chills running through my body. Not pleasant. So on Monday morning I headed into Peter Mac and after a further expiration of the fluid from the left breast and a coarse of anti-biotics in hand, I headed home to rest.

My good friend Pauline was also having a "procedure" on the same day and it is now official. We have turned into our respective mothers as we found ourselves discussing the bits and pieces, pros and cons of all this sort of stuff. As she rightly said. "When did we turn into middle aged ladies.?" It seems like only last week we were frocked up and headed to the Madness concert at Festival Hall in our early twenties.

To find oneself middle aged is rough enough but to have to manage these syptoms as well is a tad taxing. The continuous nasuea isnt wonderful but it is something you can be distracted from. And the drugs seem to do their job rather well. But the one thing that I cant get away from is the next symptom. Imagine your mouth is filled with an extremely large piece of cotton wool that had been soaked in saccharine. That is how my mouth feels all the time. And when I swallow, its like I am continuously drinking fake sweet water ! Totally vile.

I am quite tired  but that is nothing a lie on the couch or the bed can't fix. What is extremely uncomfortable are the swings in body temperature which are now very frequent. My hair becomes immediately damp and plasters stickily around my neck and forehead. My face burns and I have to take off my outer layers of clothing quickly before they too become damp. And then the reverse comes.

A short blessed relief as my perspiration dries cool on my skin in the air, quickly becomes horridly cold and uncomfortable as a low level of chill starts to hit my body as I scramble to cover up. This cycle happens alot during the day but is incredibly frequent at night time. This is exhausting and disruptive and just sucks.

The sum total of all of this is that even the smallest of task seems monumental in effort. I am having difficulty maintiaing a committment to reading which is something I have always loved to do but even something like having a shower, appears before me like a gargantuan task. I bloody hope that this gets better because it is really tough.

Stay warm.

Kellyxxx

Kelly Cops Chemo !

Dear Veinly Interested Friends,

Woke up to get ready for my intrepid date with more drugs than I have ever injested in all my life. Cycle 1 of six cycles of chemo over 18 weeks.

Only to find that apparently I was waaaaaay more stressed than I had realised because I could not move my right arm above my shoulder line, nor turn my neck left or right, nor lead off to walk moving my neck a nano second before my torso without a shooting and frozen like pain that prevent me from moving until it passed. Shampooing one's hair proved tricky as did towelling and dressing.

When I am this stressed I apparently scrunch my shoulders so high that they touch my earlobes and there they nestled all night and not even constant stretching, turning, adding and losing pillows could force a more relaxed position. They were there for the duration. It was a bad night and a slow start to a long day.

But arrive we did and headed straight to Level 5 to meet the team at the Chemotherapy Day Unit. They have the ubiquitious waiting room so here is the ubiquitous shot of me waiting. More bad daytime television on offer folks as one can see from my delighted expression, so I played more Candy Crush Saga on the ipad.

We met with Nick, a Clinical Nurse Specialist I think, who took us through what was going to happen today and what a truly staggering array of possible side effects that I was going to get to take home with me, all of which are a complimentary part of the service. Before I detail those eagerly anticipated extras, Nick detailed the three types of chemo being administered and the process of how it will be administered.

For this and the next two cycles of chemotherapy, I will be getting shot into me a combination of drugs called FEC. F stands for Fluorouracil and is clear and will be infused by a pump. Second one is E. E stands for Epirubicin which is gravity fed rather than pump fed because if gets forcefully pushed into the vein and spills into tissue, it has the power to kill the tissue. Apparently this is not a good thing so they gravity feed this bright red and molasses-like consistency by hanging it high next to you. The third component in the name is C and C stands for Cyclophosphamide. It is clear and pump infused into my vein.

Nick then runs us through the range of potential side effects that comes with these lethal cocktails. In no order of preference they are;

nausea

vomiting

diarrhorea (I have finally learnt to spell this word without looking !!)

constipation

mouth ulcers

bleeding gums

hair loss (partial or total)

fatigue

metallic taste and hyper sensitivity to food smells

extremely sensitive to the sun

nail discolouration and ridges

bladder irritation

effects on memorary

Now these little side effects are from the first lot of chemo. Each cycle is three weeks apart and I have three cycles of FEC. This will then be followed, again at three weekly intervals, of three cycles of Docetaxel aka Taxotere. This is also administered intravenously via a drip and this takes about 2 and a half hours each time. In addition to those already mentioned above, this toxic little number also comes with its own extra set of extra steak knives as a take-away prizes. These include; 

Allergic reaction such as fever, chills, rash or itching, shortness of breath or continuous hiccoughs 

anaemia

muscle and joint pain

dry & itching skin

fluid retention

peripheral neuropathy (pins & needles, burning sensation in fingers and toes)     

     

In detailing the potential impacts that chemo may have, Nick stressed the importance of understanding that with a very compromised immune system arising from all these drugs running rampant and killing off both good and bad cells indiscriminately in my body, the need to be aware of any fever or infection and have it seen to as soon as possible, is crucial. Hence he handed me this nifty little "get of jail card"

Patient Priority Card

This magic card will preclude me from the need to wait hours in an emergency department in the event that I need to present to an Emergency Department (ED) anywhere out of hours, as Peter Mac doesnt have one. The only bods getting into ED ahead of me if I am there are those not breathing or unconscious!! So this precious frequent flyer card goes straight into the wallet!! Best I update my ambulance subscription whilst we are at it. I am finding that blind panic brings with it such clarity of purpose!!!!!

So with all the paperwork work sorted and the expectations detailed , we move to the next phase of the day. But before they commence the administering process we get a tour of the Chemotherapy Day Unit (CDU) which is on the fifth floor of Peter Mac. The Unit has three major rooms in use over two shifts a day five days a week. The Cathedral Room, The Fountain Room and the Treetops Room. Each room has approximately 5 - 7 recliner chairs. Here patients sit for an average of 3 - 4 hours each being administered variable treatment plans. On a busy day, the unit administers to 80 patients, which is just mind blowing.

View from the Cathedral Room of the CDU

As you can see from this pic, we are in the Cathedral Room overlooking St Pat's But I am not scheduled to receive my tretament from there. Today I will be in the Fountain Room that overlooks the Fountain in the grounds of St Patrick's. The view is similar but I didnt think it appropriate to ask a patient already in situ receiving treatment to move from their chair just so I could get a good photo for you all. It is Day 1 only after all - plenty of time for them to get to know how pushy I really am.

Nonetheless the proximity to St Pat's and being able to look at the majestic architecture over the ensuing four hours did play on my mind rather significantly. Rest assured good people, dont fear any religious fevour, conversion or homily like speeches to sprout from this mouth anytime soon, but the sheer physical presence of the church vis a vis this particular type of hospital is a real life and death juxtaposition that is quite spooky. But then I got to thinking.........

My contempt for the senior catholic hierarchy is one that I have never been shy in venting and with the recent Enquiry taking place, and George and Dennis's collective rubbish responses have only served to deepen that loathing. Their risk mitigation strategy to protect themselves and their financial corporation by blaming a dead Archbishop and others who cannot defend themselves, takes ruthlessness to a whole new extreme. They make Gina and her fellow mining moguels look like a pack of leftie bleeding hearts! 

Men of faith my arse!!

However not willing to make this stage in my process any more negative than it need be, I choose to look at the Cathedral from a different perspective. What ever else you say about those catholics, they do give good church!! And it is indeed a thing of beauty. One of my favourite vistas is when heading south down Brunswick street towards the City and seeing the wonderful spire filling the site line of the city. That and the fact that my mum got married there, so to that end it, it holds a memory of the joy and happiness she would have been feeling on that day.  Oh that and the time, when Craig and some work mates attended a wedding of our former colleague and Craig got told off by Archbishop Denis Hart (Bishop Hart as he was at the time) for chewing gum in church !!! Priceless. Felt like I was eight or nine again and back in primary school being scolded by these weird folk in dress ups. 

So, with placement sorted and my chair calling for me, I get settled into Recliner Chair 2 in the Fountain Room. 

Me ready to start the Saline Infusion

Siobhan bemoaning that she gets stuck with the cheap seats!!

They started the process with a one hour saline infusion via the pump to ensure I was adequately hydrated. Mixed in with the saline was some powerful anti nausea drugs to combat the effects of what was to come. This was then followed by the E chemo from the FEC cocktail, Epirubicin. This is the bright red stuff below. And this part took about 15 minutes only. 

You have to remain still whilst this is going in but after this you are free to roam around if you need. The other two chemos are infused via the pump that can be temporarily unplugged and the pump diverts to battery whilst you head to the loo or make a tea or coffee or nick a tim tam from the kitchen. The two latter chemos take a few hours to be infused.

Taking my new friend to the loo with me!!

Hey Clare, the colourful effects of Epirubicin just for you !!! 

So here people I remain from about 10.30 until 2.30 having the three chemos infused. They have a wonderful service of offering morning and afternoon teas, lunches, and ice creams, and have facilities there for you to bring your own food to heat up given the sensitivity and delicacy of some of the patients. The team is bright and upbeat despite so many many people looking and undoubtedly feeling very unwell.

I can't help but feel quite the fraud at this stage given my comparatively robust health. And my heart simply goes out to so many of these people who are clearly so very very ill. Again, as I have done on so many occassions, I say a silent ittle thank you to all those people who decided to become a nurse. 

We head home when its all over. No dramatic effects at first but a few hours later, two successive bouts of diarrhoea burst from my body with all the enthusiasm of a small kid on a water slide ! Not pleasant peoples I know, but I have never been one to avoid the messy side of life. And now.....neither will you!! Aren't I nice? 

However I will keep the absolute nasty details to a minimum unless I feel the need to share my awful state of neausea with you. I will have some gory distasteful stories up my sleeve to use at the right time to illicit some genuine sympathy symptons from you.

Friday and the weekend went ok  and I endured minimal effects of nausea and weariness. But I have this sense that its early days and it cant be this easy. I guess we will will just have to wait and see. 

Say No to Drugs!!!

kelly xxxxx