Introducing the B Triple CCC...........

So all the Easter Eggs are gobbled up and the last long stretch of consecutive public holidays are behind us. Its two days after Easter Monday and we are off to Peter Mac to meet the team of people involved in deciding what will happen next.

A big plus is the discounted car parking one receives if one is a patient because as anyone who frequents the G will know that parking in and around East Melbourne is a total  bitch. We arrive a tad early and so Siobhan shouts me a coffee - surprisingly it is quite good proving once and for all that Melbournians, regardless of their current mental or emotional state, are still pretencious coffee tossers!!

The here-named B Triple CCC is the Breast Cancer Consultative Committee. (note the branding use of the colour pink!!) No self-respecting Industrial Relations Practitioner misses the opportunity to create, name and establish a working party - particularly in the health industry!!!!! And so we head around to Clinic A where I am to meet this multi-disciplinary team.  I am bombarded with forms to complete before the consult. What is it with Hospitals and forms ? They look like they were designed by a Grade 3 schoolkid using carbon paper and a ruler (Peta, ask Jo what carbon paper is). I complete two bundles of these requesting the same info over and over again. I would give my right boob (well possibly not) for the electronic medical records to be fully funded and completely implemented!!

So there we are killing time (probably should refrain from the use of such expressions given our current locale)  in the waiting area. Rows of horrid plastic framed chairs with commercial grade hideously patterned upholstery. Having recently completed an upholstery course, I find I am now strangely evaluating  hitherto ignored infrastructure with my newly acquired knowledge!! It fails the Minogue quality assessment dismally.

We are welcomed into the consult room by a visiting Fellow - for those not familiar with the strange & secret employment practices and customs of the clinical world, this is not some random jovial guy passing by the Hospital window, gave a wave and a smile and invited himself in for a chat. No, this guy hails from elsewhere (interstate & overseas) and he is here at Peter Mac learning from the team. He is qualified but he needs more "hours" kind of like a Learner's Permit arrangement to be able to go back and put out his shingle with the alphabet soup configuration after his name.

He is cruisy, informed (as you would expect/hope) but most importantly, he is responsive,  patient, inclusive, exhaustively detailed and welcomes me bombarding him with a barrage of questions. I have not spent my time idly people - I have researched everything from hormone receptive types of cancers to HER2 -positive and HER2-negative, mastectomy v breast conserving surgery.

For future reference; if the lump is small, say >2cm, with no cancer cells in the lymph nodes and the  cancer cells have hormone receptors and the cells are HER2 negative and the cancer grade is low and the surgical margin is clear then the cancer is LESS likely to come back or spread. If they are the opposite of that, then it is likely to come back or spread. What they dont or possibly cant tell you is how many of these elements or characteristics or what percentage they each contribute to being able to forecast the probability of the return of cancer. Crack that formula and I imagine you would be collecting a Nobel prize.

But it does provide for a nifty and concise summary of what I need to be evaluating as we proceed.

Midway through, the Breast Nurse comes and joins the discussion - a lovely woman with the most beautiful Irish accent. We look at the family photos of my breasts under lights and identify the offending little sucker. She also puts me down for a "lovely" (her words not mine) bra and diary that the Breast Cancer Association provide to all diagnosed woman. Take a look at this thing below. I could use it as a bloody parachute. It is a marvel of reinforced engineering.

The breast surgeon also joins us and she advises that it will be two weeks before I can get a reservation at the best table and a further week before we will know what the surgery will reveal. We go through a range of stuff together but fundamentally, this op will provide the team with the cells to put under the microscope and identify those elements raised in Paragraph 7. they come togther and then with me determine the best treatmnent plan based on type, size, location, spread etc of what they found.

In short, I head to Nuclear Medicine, they inject radio-active gunk into my underarm WITHOUT any anaethestic people and in the most deadpan and understated way, the Breast Nurse does say that it is going to hurt. She thinks it's better that I know now!!! Then when I go into theatre this stuff under a certain light will identify the sentinel node - which they take out together with the lump. This sentinel node is important because IF the cancer has headed or is heading into the lymph glands, it will show up here. Then they sew me up and I go home later that day - its day procedure folks - no swanning around in hospital for days - its like a Macca's Drive-Through. The upside though - cant vacumn or house work for weeks!

Oh, a side bar point for your enjoyment. Apparently, a possible side-effect of this radiactive stuff is that I could develop a temporary but lovely blue hue to my skin tone - I could end up looking like a F@$%ing Smurf good friends. I am already short and dumpy- so this will just complete the look. If there is a God, he has a bloody evil sense of humour!!

Together with my breast surgeon, breast nurse and Fellow, I will have a a pathologist, radiologist, radiation oncologist, radiation therapist, medical oncologist, oncology nurse, psychologist, social worker, plastic surgeon and genetic counsellor - depending on how things pan out. I will not want for attention. Perhaps we will all sit in a circle and sing "Kumbuyah My Lord"

The BCCCommittee is now in session. Take the minutes please.

Kellyx