(Interpretation; air kiss left, air kiss right)
Dear Blogees,
According to the cosmetic industry and Kerrie-Anne Kennerly, who is now my post diagnosis, Poster Gal and Guru for all things breast cancer, it would appear that even when one is subjected to the rigours of chemotherapy and feeling like crap, a true feminine kinda chick still should not leave the house without having plastered a whole lot of goop on her face........ so that instead of resembling a bland beige coloured upright mobile bowling ball, you look like an autumnal or summery (depending on your "colours") shaded upright mobile bowling ball!!!
The oft repeated mantra being.......that if one looks good, then one will feel better.
Now those who know me well know that I am not a joiner per se and rarely buy into "group think". I am highly derisive of this current pop culture rubbish where it seems everyone is on some bloody "journey of one kind or another", that everyone has a backstory of cancer, bankruptcy, or depression, or if they are really earnest, the whole lot - and their raison d'être for undertaking this cooking, singing , redecorating, renovating, weightloss, survival contest is their inspirational long dead and departed grandmother who leaving her war torn homeland in a leaky boat, overcame adversity, immigration challenges and Australian blowflys to bake the best moussaka in culinary history whilst singing opera to homeless folk and single handedly building her own mud brick home in the Australian outback. For goodness sake !! And what is with the all the crying??? Why is it that we regard the pursuit of prize money somehow more palateable and less grubby if we cloak it in so obviously shallow and manufactured sentiment? Bleuch!!!! I find it sooooo distasteful.
So anyway, as a cancer patient (cue tears now), I receive an invitation to register for the Look Good Feel Better program. This program offered Australia wide is supported by many of the cosmetic companies . It's patron is Kerri-Anne Kennerly, it is run by a small organisation who effectively tap into hospitals and clinics across the country and in conjunction with the respective hospital's army of volunteers, provide a two hour workshop to female cancer patients in how to put on make-up, wigs and scarfs and adapt to your new look whilst going through treatment.
As regulars will be aware, I am no stranger to the transformative abilities of make-up as anyone reading yesterday's blog and seeing how utterly ravishing I can look without it whilst doing a spot of gardening, can attest. Equally, I know my way around good, bad and indifferent wigs thanks to my foray with Craig. (see earlier wig trying blog entry) And finally, I am so very comfortable with my physical limitations, to know that , no matter what the fabric, colour or braided accessory, one Kelly Minogue, looks like an ageing Gloria Swanson on a bad day in a bloody turban!!!!! - for those not aware who Gloria is, google her image and you will understand my aversion to turbans!!!
Yet, I was keen to attend and I am not ashamed to admit my ulterior motive for doing so. It was not so that I may bond with my sister sufferers and share experiences of our respective journeys...... nothing so noble nor honourable. No, my oncology nurse mate John had said you are given a terrific show bag of goodies. So there it is. I was going to the workshop for the sole reason of securing some contraband- pure and simple!!!
However, as I have found with this cancer caper, I am often taken in unexpected directions both emotionally and intellectually and this was to be the case with the Look Good Feel Better workshop. But before I got to hang with this group, together with Siobhan, I had an outdoor luncheon catch up
with my personal shearer, Pauline. As you can see from the pic, whilst I sat on my lemon bitters, the two gals maintained that compulsory maxim for those ladies who lunch.......a glass (or in their case, a piccolo of fizz to wile away the afternoon - tres wonderful!!!!!!in beautiful Melbourne winter sunshine we tried a new eatery in Clifton Hill together. Lotsa fun as always.
So the following week, sans make-up but dangly statement earrings in situ for that post makeup reveal, and wearing a black ensemble with an aqua pashmina scarf slung loosely, Muslim style over the bald head and around the neck, (Going Out Hair Wig was in a plastic bag in my handbag at the ready), I ventured into the workshop. To walk into a group where no one knows anyone I think is always a little bit hard. Despite being a reasonably confident human, the absurdity of the circumstances in which we had come together, left me a little dumbstruck. It wasn't like we were all here to join the new local tennis club now was it?? As one of the volunteers checked my details and gave me a name badge, I was wondering, what's a suitable conversation starter?
Questions such as "So what chemo regime are you on?, or How come you still have your hair? " seemed too personal and overly familiar. And my favourite one ...did you know about the whole post double mastectomy reconstruction from a tummy tuck thing - cant wait? " might be misinterpreted by someone not understanding my often bleak sense of humour......I was at a bit of a loss.
Well the coordinator herded us to our seats and introduced us all. We were a disparate group of roughly 20 women of all ages, some as young as their mid to late twenties, most in the middle and a few older ladies. We were seated around a rectangle table each with its own setting with a selection of cosmetics selected in accordance with the "profile" that we had submitted a few weeks prior that detailed our colouring and what we routinely used ourselves. Let me say from the outset peoples that
it was AMAZING contraband!!!!! Estée Lauder, Chanel, Revlon, and quite a few other brands and it included moisturiser, cleanser, eye cream, concealer, mascara, lipstick, foundation - the whole box and dice.......marvellous.
The lady who was to lead the class, Leonie, from Chanel, asked me if I would be her model to demonstrate technique and of course. I was more than happy to comply. So I simply got to sit back and enjoy being pampered - tough gig what???
To say that we all had a great time is to seriously undersell the real benefits of this workshop. It was clear to me having the benefit of sitting back and observing the room rather than applying my make-up that the workshop was working its 'magic' on so many levels. Warm exchanges between the ladies were the order of the day, much laughing, empathy, encouragement and genuine kindness was evident throughout the room.
Some of the ladies who attended had come in full make-up and with wigs or scarfs or hats in place. When asked to remove the make-up and head covering so that a thorough cleansing and application could commence, you could feel the reluctance and self consciousness emanating from some of these lovely ladies. I just wanted to reach out and give them a hug. Wanting to hug a total stranger is not a common reaction for me so that was a complete surprise that my first compelling feelings where empathy and the need to provide reassurance. The make-up and head gear is so clearly their amour when presenting to the outside world and their once beautiful hair ravaged by chemo and pale skin devoid of all colour and sporting the pallor of illness made them feel so vulnerable. But they were brave and they too entered into the spirit of the day.
We spent a while on the make-up application, then, the lovely June from the Peter Mac Volunteers showed us the beanies, hats and turban ideas that were available for us to learn, lend, buy and also a handy tip to watch YouTube for scarf tying creations!!!!! Then came Di from Creative Wigs, who with her signature frankness and pushy-ness (a good attribute in this instance when assisting ladies to go for the most suitable look, and not a poor synthetic facsimile of what they are used to ), enables the ladies to try on a range of wigs. This was hoot for all with much laughter and merriment and generous and at times, diplomatic commentary.
If one could bottle the intensity of the smiles on the faces of these lovely ladies as they found a wig to compliment their new make-up look that worked for them, it would be a world changing elixir for happiness and confidence. We enjoyed a sumptious morning tea provided by the CWA no less and can I tell you the club sandwiches and pretty as a picture little patty cakes were divine.
This two hour work shop has fundamentally shifted my outlook. I had started out as a most relunctant recruit to this Cancer Club of Sick Chicks, intent on being there solely for the goodies. I left having been privileged to share this time and experience with them. And while you probably wont see me donning any pink shirts and running the Tan, or invading the G anytime soon or riding alongside very good people for 100's of miles, anytime soon, I want to whole heartedly thank the participants and their friends who also came to share, the volunteers of Peter Mac for their wonderful warm caps and hats, Di from Creative, the CWA, the delightful Leonie from Chanel and all the other volunteers and co-ordinator of Look Good Feel Better. And of course to the participating cosmetic companies for their wonderful generosity.
I may only on occassion rise to the "Look Good"component of the mantra but I sure as hell have genuinely internalised the "Feel Better" from this rich and rewarding experience. Thank you to all.
So looking very spiffy I arrange to have lunch with my friend Clare down from Sydney a few days later. We headed to the Monet exhibition late morning only to find the queue ridiculously long (since when do parents take little (and I mean little) kids to an exhibition by a French Impressionist )- can they have already run out of things to do by the end of the first week of school holidays ??? Seriously, what is wrong with Maccas and a movie!!!! So opted for lunch first then art. At Bistro Guillame we enjoyed a stunning meal and a gorgeous wine from Curly Flat. I had a glass, as I am treating my body like a temple these days. Clare had the rest.
Ppppffft!! You know I am lying right? Even I couldn't type that last line above with a straight face. The no drinking rule has collapsed but my intake is seriously curtailed and none for the first 10 days post chemo. So here is a pic of what Clare had an an entree..... a twice cooked cheese souffle with a rouquefort sauce....yum.......its a great place and we had a lovely time catching up. And even though we couldnt fit in dessert, here is a picture of the dessert Pauline had there when we went...this Ladies Who Lunch caper is simply fab
Afterwards we headed into the exhibition. I love his work with its focus on gardens and colour. It is simply uplifting. The kids running amok I could have done without and I am not ashamed to say that used my imposing baldness and stern look to unsettle the little darlings somewhat. Being bald has its advantages!!!
Clare came back later for dinner to catch up with another friend with whom we had both worked. But I forgot to get his head on camera, so here is one of Clare with one of hers at her side, the lovely Cashew, and one of ours (who is the personification of an endless pit of need and attention- Bombe Alaska). But thanks for coming Ben, it was just lovely to see you.
And just for you BK, and all the other filthy Collingwood supporters, (why am I even friends with this calibre of person I ask myself?) I have posted the sports page that I woke up to on Saturday morning. Was not thrilled......Still I am working on my Stephen Milne insults in anticipation of his return for this Saturday - Rest assured they will be "alleged" insults..........
And finally folks, this was Siobhan and I "enjoying" the five hour blackout in Thornbury on Monday evening. Thank god for iphones, Flashlight Apps and Candy Crush Saga on battery charged ipads is all I can say!!!!!!!!!
Lotsa
Kellyxxxx
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